Contents of file 'dailyquote.php':
1 <?php
2 //============================================================================
3 // File: dailyquote.php [PHP script]
4 // Created: August 20, 2006 [v.1.0]
5 // Last change: January 23, 2014 [v.1.24]
6 // Author: Fredrik Jonsson <http://jonsson.eu/>
7 //
8 // DESCRIPTION
9 // The DAILYQUOTE script generates (X)HTML code for displaying quotes
10 // handpicked from the literature, films, newspapers or other sources.
11 // The DAILYQUOTE script forms the server-side engine for the automatic
12 // generation of daily quotes found at the entry page of jonsson.eu.
13 //
14 // Copyright (C) 2006-2008, Fredrik Jonsson <http://jonsson.eu/>
15 // Non-commercial copying welcome.
16 //============================================================================
17 //
18 // ###########################################################################
19 // ######## CUSTOMIZE THE FOLLOWING PARAMETERS WITH YOUR OWN SETTINGS ########
20 // ###########################################################################
21 //
22 // If you have a particular, own-defined quote to display, then simply set
23 // $test_quote equal to the particular quote number; otherwise set to zero
24 //
25 $test_quote=0;
26 //
27 // ###########################################################################
28 // ######## END OF USER CUSTOMIZABLE PARAMETERS ##############################
29 // ###########################################################################
30 //
31
32 //----------------------------------------
33 $quote[1]="Det är bara att bryta ihop och gå vidare.";
34 $source[1]="<a href=\"http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Torgny_Mogren\">Torgny
35 Mogren,</a> Swedish cross-country skier (Four World Championship gold
36 medals 1987-93 and an Olympic gold medal 1988)";
37
38 //----------------------------------------
39 $quote[2]="The work of science is to substitute facts for appearances, and
40 demonstrations for impressions.";
41 $source[2]="John Ruskin, The stones of Venice (1853).";
42
43 //----------------------------------------
44 $quote[3]="Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the
45 birth of Santa.";
46 $source[3]="Bart Simpson.";
47
48 //----------------------------------------
49 $quote[4]="Science is knowledge that we understand so well that we can teach
50 it to a computer; and if we don't fully understand something, it is an art to
51 deal with.";
52 $source[4]="Donald E. Knuth, Computer Programming as an Art (A. M. Turing Award
53 Lecture, 1974).";
54
55 //----------------------------------------
56 $quote[5]="To my mind, the book is better than ever. May each reader benefit
57 and enjoy!";
58 $source[5]="J.D. Jackson, in his own modest preface to the second edition of
59 his Classical Electrodynamics (Wiley, 1974).";
60
61 //----------------------------------------
62 $quote[6]="At your fingertips you have a tool that was unavailable to
63 Archimedes, Galileo, or Einstein. The only limits to the flexibility of
64 the HP-25 are the limits of your own mind.";
65 $source[6]="<a href=\"http://www.hpmuseum.org/hp25.htm\">Hewlett-Packard 25</a>
66 Handbook (1975)";
67
68 //----------------------------------------
69 $quote[7]="Professor Goddard does not know the relation between action and
70 reaction and the need to have something better than a vacuum against which
71 to react. He seems to lack the basic knowledge ladled out daily in high
72 schools.";
73 $source[7]="1921 New York Times editorial about Robert Goddard's revolutionary
74 rocket work.";
75 $followup_quote[7]="Correction: It is now definitely established that a rocket
76 can function in a vaccuum. The Times regrets the error.";
77 $followup_source[7]="New York Times, July 1969.";
78
79 //----------------------------------------
80 $quote[8]="I'm Winston Wolfe. I solve problems.";
81 $source[8]="Pulp Fiction (Quentin Tarantino, 1994)";
82
83 //----------------------------------------
84 $quote[9]="But the science is always there,<br/>I'd be a true sucker<br/>if I
85 acted like I didn't care.";
86 $source[9]="<a href=\"http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ice-T\">Ice-T</a> (Original
87 Gangster, Sire Records, 1991)";
88
89 //----------------------------------------
90 $quote[10]="Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.";
91 $source[10]="<a href=\"http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homer_Simpson\">Homer
92 Simpson</a>";
93
94 //----------------------------------------
95 $quote[11]="<tt>/* vsprintf.c -- Lars Wirzenius & Linus Torvalds. */<br/>
96 /* Wirzenius wrote this portably, Torvalds fucked it up :-) */</tt>";
97 $source[11]="Extract from the C-code of the historic first-ever release of
98 the Linux kernel (Linus Torvalds, <a href=\"http://www.funet.fi\">
99 funic.funet.fi</a>, August 1991)";
100
101 //----------------------------------------
102 $quote[12]="Oh Lisa, there's no such thing as vampires. They're make-believe,
103 like fairies, goblins and Eskimos.";
104 $source[12]="<a href=\"http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homer_Simpson\">Homer
105 Simpson</a>";
106
107 //----------------------------------------
108 $quote[13]="The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the
109 inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he
110 who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through
111 the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the
112 finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great
113 vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my
114 brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance
115 upon you.";
116 $source[13]="Pulp Fiction, Ezekiel 25:17 (Quentin Tarantino, 1994)";
117
118 //----------------------------------------
119 $quote[14]="If one does not know to which port one is sailing, no wind is
120 favorable.";
121 $source[14]="Seneca (5 BC-65 AD), Roman dramatist, philosopher and politician";
122
123 //----------------------------------------
124 $quote[15]="Everything is vague to a degree you do not realize till you have
125 tried to make it precise.";
126 $source[15]="<a href=\"http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bertrand_Russell\">Bertrand
127 Russell</a> (1872-1970)";
128
129 //----------------------------------------
130 $quote[16]="So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in
131 praise of intelligence.";
132 $source[16]="<a href=\"http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bertrand_Russell\">Bertrand
133 Russell</a> (1872-1970)";
134
135 //----------------------------------------
136 $quote[17]="Completely sugar free.";
137 $source[17]="The British toothpaste \"Milk teeth fluoride plus\", manufactured
138 by GlaxoSmithKline (2007)";
139
140 //----------------------------------------
141 $quote[18]="Här ligger en gravad hund.";
142 $source[18]="<a href=\"http://susning.nu/Refaat_El-Sayed\">Refaat
143 El-Sayed</a>";
144
145 //----------------------------------------
146 $quote[19]="Om man har lite skulder är det som en kulle, men om man har
147 mycket skulder blir det som ett berg där man kan gå upp och
148 titta lite på utsikten.";
149 $source[19]="<a href=\"http://susning.nu/Refaat_El-Sayed\">Refaat
150 El-Sayed</a>";
151
152 //----------------------------------------
153 $quote[20]="That which is not measurable is not science. That which is not
154 Physics is stamp collecting.";
155 $source[20]="<a href=\"http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ernest_Rutherford\">Ernest
156 Rutherford</a> (1871-1937)";
157
158 //----------------------------------------
159 $quote[21]="Not only is the universe stranger than we imagine, it is stranger
160 than we <em>can</em> imagine.";
161 $source[21]="Sir
162 <a href=\"http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arthur_Stanley_Eddington\">Arthur
163 Eddington</a> (1882-1944)";
164
165 //----------------------------------------
166 $quote[22]="I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.";
167 $source[22]="<a href=\"http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Isaac_Asimov\">Isaac
168 Asimov</a> (1920-1992)";
169
170 //----------------------------------------
171 $quote[23]="There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in his
172 home.";
173 $source[23]="Ken Olsen (1926-), President,
174 <a href=\"http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Digital_Equipment_Corporation\">
175 Digital Equipment,</a> 1977";
176
177 //----------------------------------------
178 $quote[24]="Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.";
179 $source[24]="<a href=\"http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pablo_Picasso\">Pablo
180 Picasso</a> (1881-1973)";
181
182 //----------------------------------------
183 $quote[25]="Where a calculator on the ENIAC is equipped with 18,000 vacuum
184 tubes and weighs 30 tons, computers in the future may have only 1,000
185 vaccuum tubes and perhaps weigh 1.5 tons.";
186 $source[25]="Unknown,
187 <a href=\"http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Popular_Mechanics\">Popular
188 Mechanics</a>, March 1949";
189
190 //----------------------------------------
191 $quote[26]="I'm still an atheist, thank God.";
192 $source[26]="<a href=\"http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000320/\">Luis
193 Buñuel</a> (1900-1983)";
194
195 //----------------------------------------
196 $quote[27]="We don't have the money, so we have to think.";
197 $source[27]="Sir
198 <a href=\"http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arthur_Stanley_Eddington\">Arthur
199 Eddington</a> (1882-1944)";
200
201 //----------------------------------------
202 $quote[28]="Eh? Some don't want take it personal? Unu talk bout don, you think
203 me come fi don.";
204 $source[28]="<a href=\"http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cutty_Ranks\">Cutty_Ranks
205 </a> (Limb by Limb, Suburban Base Records, 1995)";
206
207 //----------------------------------------
208 $quote[29]="Don't panic.";
209 $source[29]="<a href=\"http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Douglas_Adams\">Douglas
210 Adams</a> (1952-2001), The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy";
211
212 //----------------------------------------
213 $quote[30]="Där ser du: din vetenskap och teknik, vad är det
214 jämfört med magi och trolldom?";
215 $source[30]="Skrot-Nisse och hans vänner
216 (<a href=\"http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jan_Lööf\">Jan
217 Lööf</a>, Sveriges Television, 1985)";
218
219 //----------------------------------------
220 $quote[31]="I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.";
221 $source[31]="<a href=\"http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bertrand_Russell\">Bertrand
222 Russell</a> (1872-1970)";
223
224 //----------------------------------------
225 $quote[32]="Ät dina fiskpinnar. I morron är du rökt.";
226 $source[32]="<a
227 href=\"http://sv.wikipedia.org/wiki/Super_Mario_Långben\">Super Mario
228 Långben</a> (Simonize and Woodgrove, 2007)";
229
230 //----------------------------------------
231 $quote[33]="That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.";
232 $source[33]="The first words spoken on the moon (Neil Armstrong, July 21,
233 1969)";
234 $followup_quote[33]="Let's get this motherfucker out of here!";
235 $followup_source[33]="The <em>last</em> words spoken on the moon (Eugene
236 Cernan, December 14, 1972)";
237
238 //----------------------------------------
239 $quote[34]="Well there's diamonds on my windshield and these tears from heaven
240 well i'm pulling into town on the interstate i got a steel train in the rain
241 and the wind bites my cheek through the wing and it's these late nights and
242 this freeway flying that always makes me sing, it always makes me sing.";
243 $source[34]="Tom Waits (Asylum Years, Warner Records, 1986)";
244
245 //----------------------------------------
246 $quote[35]="Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.";
247 $source[35]="<a href=\"http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albert_Einstein\">Albert
248 Einstein</a>";
249
250 // $followup_quote[35]="It can scarcely be denied that the supreme goal of all
251 // theory is to make the irreducible basic elements as simple and as few as
252 // possible without having to surrender the adequate representation of a
253 // single datum of experience.";
254 // $followup_source[35]="<a
255 // href=\"http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albert_Einstein\">Albert Einstein</a>,
256 // <em>On the Method of Theoretical Physics</em> Herbert Spencer Lecture
257 // delivered at Oxford (10 June 1933); Phil. Sci., <b>1</b>, 163 (1934).";
258
259 //----------------------------------------
260 $quote[36]="It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just
261 with potatoes.";
262 $source[36]="<a href=\"http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Douglas_Adams\">Douglas
263 Adams</a> (1952-2001), Life, the Universe and Everything";
264
265 //----------------------------------------
266 $quote[37]="Premature optimization is the root of all evil.";
267 $source[37]="<a href=\"http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donald_Knuth\">Donald E.
268 Knuth</a>.";
269
270 //----------------------------------------
271 $quote[38]="Dwee, dah dah shrah, plah plah sah, dah dah rah, plav da shree,
272 loh ku pah, dav du sah! Soo-da-li dwee-daht, soo-da-li doo-ton plah-blah.";
273 $source[38]="<a href=\"http://www.shooby.com/\">William Shooby Taylor</a>
274 (1929-2003), <a href=\"http://jonsson.eu/programs/php/dailyquote/shooby03.mp3\">
275 <em>Stout-hearted men</em></a>.";
276
277 //----------------------------------------
278 $quote[39]="Think outside the box, collapse the box, and take a fucking sharp
279 knife to it.";
280 $source[39]="<a href=\"http://www.banksy.co.uk/\">Banksy</a>";
281
282 //----------------------------------------
283 $quote[40]="I am so smart, S-M-R-T!";
284 $source[40]="<a href=\"http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homer_Simpson\">Homer
285 Simpson</a>, in
286 <a href=\"http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homer_Goes_to_College\">Homer Goes
287 to College</a>";
288
289 //----------------------------------------
290 $quote[41]="Pojkar vill, killar kan!";
291 $source[41]="Brandchef Greger Hawkwind, <a href=\"http://sv.wikipedia.org/wiki/NileCity_105,6\">NileCity 105,6</a>.";
292
293 //----------------------------------------
294 $quote[42]="$665.95 - Retail price of the Beast";
295 $source[42]="Joke at 1740 Internet sites, as of March 2009.";
296
297 //----------------------------------------
298 $quote[43]="Jazz is not dead, it just smells funny";
299 $source[43]="<a href=\"http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frank_Zappa\">Frank
300 Zappa</a>";
301
302 //----------------------------------------
303 $quote[44]="No-one would remember the Good Samaritan if he'd only had good
304 intentions; he had money as well.";
305 $source[44]="<a href=\"http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Margaret_Thatcher\">
306 Margaret Thatcher</a>";
307
308 //----------------------------------------
309 $quote[45]="Jag ger fullständigt fan i vad folk tycker, bara de tycker
310 någonting.";
311 $source[45]="<a href=\"http://siri.derkert.com\">Siri Derkert</a>";
312
313 //----------------------------------------
314 $quote[46]="Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from
315 magic.";
316 $source[46]="<a href=\"http://www.arthurcclarke.net\">Arthur C. Clarke</a>";
317
318 //----------------------------------------
319 $quote[47]="Ett väl utfört arbete ger en inre tillfredställelse och är den grund på vilket samhället vilar.";
320 $source[47]="<a href=\"http://sv.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sagan_om_Karl-Bertil_Jonssons_julafton\">Karl-Bertil Jonsson</a>";
321
322 //----------------------------------------
323 $quote[48]="Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.";
324 $source[48]="Seneca (5 BC-65 AD), Roman dramatist, philosopher and politician";
325
326 //----------------------------------------
327 $quote[49]="Parity is for farmers.";
328 $source[49]="<a href=\"http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seymour_Cray\">Seymour
329 Cray</a> (1925-1996), Supercomputer architect and founder of
330 <a href=\"http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cray_Research\">Cray Research</a>,
331 on <a href=\"http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyclic_redundancy_check\">cyclic
332 redundancy checks</a>.";
333
334 //----------------------------------------
335 $quote[50]="Comfort diminishes activity; lack of activity leads to lack of
336 stimulation, without stimulation you become bored, fat and tired. You get
337 energetic only by using energy, not by resting";
338 $source[50]="<a href=\"http://www.yrvind.com\">Sven Yrvind</a>, small-boat
339 world circumnavigator and 1980 Royal Cruising Club medalist for seamanship.";
340
341 function random_daily_integer($min,$max) {
342 // srand ((double) microtime( )*1000000); // Seeding with ms since 1 Jan 1970
343 srand ((double) date("j")); // Seeding with the date of the month
344 return rand($min,$max);
345 }
346
347 function singlequote($lang,$qindx,$comment_on_quote) {
348 switch ($lang) {
349 case en:
350 $titlestring="Quote of the day";
351 break;
352 case sv:
353 $titlestring="Dagens citat";
354 break;
355 default:
356 $titlestring="";
357 echo "PHP Error: singlequote(): Language switch \"".$lang.
358 "\" is not recognized!\n";
359 }
360 echo "<div class=\"links\">\n";
361 echo "<!-- ".$comment_on_quote." -->\n";
362 echo "<h2>".$titlestring."</h2>\n";
363 echo "<p class=\"dailyquote\">\n";
364 echo " <span class=\"quote\">\"".
365 $GLOBALS['quote'][$qindx]."\"</span><br/>\n";
366 echo " <span class=\"source\"><em> – ".
367 $GLOBALS['source'][$qindx]."</em></span>\n";
368 echo "</p>\n";
369 if ($GLOBALS['followup_quote'][$qindx]!="") {
370 echo "<p class=\"dailyquote\">\n";
371 echo " <span class=\"quote\">\"".
372 $GLOBALS['followup_quote'][$qindx]."\"</span><br/>\n";
373 echo " <span class=\"source\"><em> – ".
374 $GLOBALS['followup_source'][$qindx]."</em></span>\n";
375 echo "</p>\n";
376 }
377 echo "<p class=\"dailyquote\">\n";
378 $dailyquote_url="http://jonsson.eu/programs/php/dailyquote/";
379 echo "Generated by <a href=\"".$dailyquote_url."\">::dailyquote::</a>\n";
380 echo "</p>\n";
381 echo "</div>\n";
382 return;
383 }
384
385 function dailyquote($lang,$mode) {
386 $copyright_notice="Copyright (C) Fredrik Jonsson, 2006-2008";
387 $test_quote=$GLOBALS['test_quote']; // Non-zero to display particular quote
388 $num_quotes=sizeof($GLOBALS['quote']); // Number of defined quotes
389 $num_sources=sizeof($GLOBALS['source']); // Number of defined sources
390
391 //
392 // First check that we actually have a source defined for each of the
393 // available quotes.
394 //
395 if ($num_quotes!=$num_sources) {
396 echo "PHP Error in dailyquote():\n";
397 echo "Number of quotes differ from number of sources!\n";
398 }
399 if ($mode=="single") {
400 //
401 // Generate a single quote. (The "single" mode.)
402 //
403 $comment_on_quote="Quote generated by dailyquote.php; ".$copyright_notice;
404 if ($test_quote>0) { // If a test of a quote is to be performed, ...
405 $qindx=$test_quote;
406 $comment_on_quote="Test quote No ".$test_quote.", ".$copyright_notice;
407 } else if ($random_quote) { // ... else select a random quote, ...
408 $qindx=mt_rand(1,$num_quotes);
409 } else { // ... or simply base the quote number on the day of the month.
410 //
411 // The data returned by date("j") is in fact a string; however, the
412 // loose type definition of PHP takes care of a conversion to an
413 // integer whenever needed, as for example when the variable is used
414 // in arithmetics.
415 //
416 // $qindx=date("j");
417 // while ($qindx>$num_quotes) // Make sure that the index actually is
418 // $qindx=$qindx-$num_quotes; // within range of the array of quotes.
419 $qindx=random_daily_integer(1,$num_quotes);
420 }
421 singlequote($lang,$qindx,$comment_on_quote);
422 echo "<!-- End of quote automatically generated by dailyquote.php -->\n";
423 } elseif ($mode=="all") {
424
425 //
426 // Generate a list of all available quotes. (The "all" mode.)
427 //
428 $comment_on_quote="Quotes generated by dailyquote.php; ".$copyright_notice;
429 echo "<!-- ".$comment_on_quote." -->\n";
430 // echo "<h2>Quotes available to dailyquote.php</h2>\n";
431 for ($k=1;$k<=$num_quotes;$k++) {
432 echo "<h3>Quote number ".$k."</h3>\n";
433 echo "<p class=\"dailyquote\">\n";
434 echo " <span class=\"quote\">\"".
435 $GLOBALS['quote'][$k]."\"</span><br/>\n";
436 echo " <span class=\"source\"><em> – ".
437 $GLOBALS['source'][$k]."</em></span>\n";
438 echo "</p>\n";
439 if ($GLOBALS['followup_quote'][$k]!="") {
440 echo "<p class=\"dailyquote\">\n";
441 echo " <span class=\"quote\">\"".
442 $GLOBALS['followup_quote'][$k]."\"</span><br/>\n";
443 echo " <span class=\"source\"><em> – ".
444 $GLOBALS['followup_source'][$k]."</em></span>\n";
445 echo "</p>\n";
446 }
447 }
448 echo "<!-- End of quote automatically generated by dailyquote.php -->\n";
449 } else {
450
451 //
452 // If no valid mode was detected, then generate an error message and
453 // exit from the dailyquote.php script.
454 //
455 echo "<!-- Code automatically generated by dailyquote.php -->\n";
456 echo "PHP Error: Mode \"".$mode."\" is not recognized!\n";
457 echo "<!-- End of code automatically generated by dailyquote.php -->\n";
458 exit(1);
459 }
460 return;
461 }
462 ?>
463
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